Come on Jessica, pull yourself together....

Today I had my first official TTC breakdown.  Yes I have shed a few tears here and there along this journey, but today was a full-on disaster -- as in I almost went to my aunt and begged her for a Zanax.  I will just say this -- I do not want to be told to 'relax', 'give it time', 'it will happen when it is meant to happen', 'stop trying so hard'.  I do not want to be told 'put your legs up in the air', or 'have sex on cycle day 14'.  This is all worthless advice that makes absolutely no sense whatsoever.  I know people mean well, they really do, and I tried not to let it bother me but now it just hurts a little more every time.  I have never wanted something so much IN MY LIFE.

To add to the stress, I have work stress, school stress, money stress, you name it I have it!  I am really ready for an emotional break.  My mind is racing and I just want a break.

BUT I may or may not have bought a new Coach bag this weekend, so that was a highlight :)  Or it could have something to do with my money stress!  But I just see it as a good investment -- after all, I do use it every day!

Aside from the breakdown today, I did have an awesome weekend.  We went down to Charlotte on Saturday.  The boys went to the Nationwide race while the girls did some retail therapy at Concord Mills (where I may or may not have acquired the Coach bag).  Then we went to the dirt track race that night which is always entertaining!  Sunday we tailgated all day and I discovered the most delicious drink probably in the entire universe -- Jeremiah Weed Sweet Tea Vodka (OMG delicious)!!!  I guess that is the silver lining of still NOT being pregnant -- although I would trade that in a hot minute if I could.  The race was pretty disappointing -- we went to Charlotte two weekends in a row to watch freakin' Kurt Busch win both times.  My man Tony Stewart had a pretty uneventful night.  Actually what kept me entertained most of the night was the guy sitting next to me.  He was clearly there with his girlfriend, who was pretty adorable BTW.  But he was getting a booty call from some girl named Mary all night.  Yes I was nosy and was reading his texts!  It was DISGUSTING. 

And tomorrow is Tuesday and I get to go back to work (YAY!).  And summer school (aka Hell) starts tomorrow.  It is going to be a long and busy summer!