Wow.

Who knew that pregnancy is the most terrifying journey that I would ever take!?  And I have not even known for three weeks yet.  The weekend was great -- Sunday I had mad cravings at the grocery store, coming home with the most random assortment of food items I have ever seen!  Sunday night -- the spotting started.  It was pink and I was absolutely terrified.  I literally curled up in my husband's lap and cried all night.  I just had that bad feeling, ya know?  I didn't sleep a wink because I was in the bathroom just about every 15 minutes or so.  I even called Labor and Delivery at the hospital.  Monday morning, I called into work due to the lack of sleep and the fact that I would be totally worthless.  I called my OB and talked to the nurse and she didn't seem too concerned -- just told me to keep an eye on everything and to come to my regular appointment on Thursday.  Thursday cannot come soon enough!!  I am going to literally BEG for an ultrasound (I wasn't scheduled for one) and if they don't give me one, then by God I will go to someone who will!! 

So I have had on and off spotting today and thankfully it has been brown and haven't noticed any at all in a couple of hours, but I have felt like I have had more cramps than usual which is a little worrisome to me.  So now I am just counting down to Thursday and hoping and praying for a healthy baby.....

I can't believe I am typing this....

But....

Excuse the 1970's style bathroom countertops, but you are looking at a BFP!!  The first positive pregnancy test I have ever seen and I am absolutely over the moon!!  I honestly thought we were out this month.  I did a terrible job temping/charting and just really didn't put much effort into TTC this month.  On top of that I started a brand new job and my insurance doesn't kick in until November 1st (oops)!  I do still have my old policy, so I am not worried about coverage.

OK so here is how it all went down....

Like I said I really thought we were out this month and I wasn't even planning on testing at all.  Fertility Friend hadn't confirmed my O date since I had a lot of missing temps and open circles.  I woke up on Friday morning (September 10) and considered not even taking my temp, just waiting for AF to come.  I thought I would take it just for the heck of it and I am so glad I did!  It had actually gone up!  So I decided to go ahead and test.  I am so used to seeing negatives that I usually can tell right away that it is going to be a negative, but I still let it sit for a few minutes just to make sure.  So this one looked like it was going to be a negative so I followed the normal routine of setting the strip down and going about my business, doing my makeup and hair or whatever.  Well when I glanced back down at the test I about had a heart attack!  I could not believe my eyes.  Dave had already left for work so I just walked around the house in shock!  I didn't know what to do!

So I went on to work -- it was a long morning -- and bought a FRER Gold Digital at lunchtime.  After the longest three minutes OF MY LIFE, that beautiful YES+ finally popped up!  After work I went out and bought a card, a bib that says "I love Daddy", and the Willow Tree New Dad figure for Dave.  When he got home I handed him the bag and told him to open the card first.  He just sat there staring at me in shock!  He kept saying "are you serious?"  I wish I would have thought to capture the look on his face with my camera, but my mind was preoccupied at the moment!

In short, I am so very grateful for everything that God has blessed me with :)  I know I don't deserve it all, but I am thankful nonetheless.  I prayed and prayed for this day, shed many tears along the way, and I sit here typing this and just can't believe it is actually happening!  I have never felt anything like it :)